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legallyshameless
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Name: QUEEN sueann
Country: Singapore
Metro: Singapore
Birthday: 1/16/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: caramel, kittens, Afiq, thai fried rice, cheese and egg prata, button earrings, hot pink, vintage coats, music, photography, sketching, writing, haute couture, dancing,old skool, having long conversations with the one i love, retail therapy, diva apparel, dirty dancing, colour pencils, doing things in secret, indochine, black, tube tops, mascara that make eyelashes look longer than they are, flea markets
Message: message meEmail: email me
MSN: camerawh0re@gmail.com
Member Since:
1/23/2006
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| why did we break up?
i still don't get it. all i know is, if we get back together again, i'm gonna be the best i'll ever be. no more "breaking up" over silly incidents. no more immature and selfish thoughts. it'll be different, i promise.
as if this would help.. as if you would listen to anything that i'm saying right now...... nothing will work. you're gone. and even though we're on better terms now as friends.... it's just the same as you being gone from my life.
today is our supposed 7 month anniversary. i remember it. and i think you forgot. i haven't heard a word from you today.
i feel like just giving up and forcing myself to forget all this. and just making a new life. starting from zero with my emotions. everything. i don't wanna think about all this unhappiness that's eating up in me. i wanna forget that i ever loved you. i really do. i can't take this anymore. | | |
| You look in my eyes
and I get emotional inside.
I know it's crazy but
you still can touch my heart.
And after all this time
you'd think that I wouldn't
feel the same.
But time melts into nothing,
and nothing has changed.
I still believe someday you and me
will find ourselves in love again.
I have a dream someday you and me
will find ourselves in love again.
Each day of my life
I'm filled with all the joy I could find.
You know that I,
I'm not the desperate type.
If there's one spark of hope
left in my grasp
I'll hold it with both hands.
It's worth the risk of burning
to have a second chance.
I need you, baby.
I still believe that we can be together.
If we believe that true love
never has to end,
then we must know that we will love again
I still believe someday you and me
will find ourselves in love again.
I had a dream you and me
will find ourselves in love again.
♥
Who are you now
Are you still the same
Oe did you change somehow
What do you do
At this very moment when I think of you
And when I'm looking back
How we were young and stupid
Do you remember that
No matter how I fight it, can't deny it
Just can't let you go
I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you
Now look at me
Instead of moving on, not refuse to see
That I keep coming back
yeah, I'm stuck in a moment
That wasn't meant to last
I've tried to fight it, can't deny it
You don't even know that
I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you
No, No...
I wish I could find you
Just like you found me, that I
Would never let you go
(need you, care about you)
Though everything's been said and done, yeah
I still feel you (I still feel you)
like I'm right beside you (Like I'm right here beside you)
But still no word from you
♥
i really miss you Afiq. i know it sounds so cliched but i really want us to be together again. i admit that i underestimated the effect of our breakup earlier on. no, i do not wish to move on. no, i do not wish to go with another guy. i'm not interested at all. it's only you i've got my eye on.. i just don't know how you feel now.
i don't think i'll ever know how you feel. about me, about us. you know how i just really wanted to force myself to forget you because i thought that we wouldn't be together again, for good. but now things are picking up but sometimes i look in your eyes and i kinda feel like you see me as nothing more than a friend, but sometimes i see love. then your friends and my friends tell me that it will happen again. as in us. so whats the next step that i should take? to hold on? or to let go and forget because we might not happen again? i don't want to be stuck in the middle. i want to make a proper decision. | | |
| there you go, leaving me all alone again. and here i go in the opposite direction, knowing i can't give chase. for the more i chase, the faster you run.
is this how love is supposed to be? a game of cat and mouse?
you say you need the space. that you only want me around when you feel that you need me. is this how far your committment can go? it seems all too shallow to me. it seems like i'm your last resort when you have nothing better to do. assure me and tell me it's not like that. but all you can say is, "See? You don't understand how i feel."
every time i try to speak up, you silence me with accusations that i just want to win.
you request to be selfish. you ask me to let you have your way and solve this problem, so that you will treasure me more. i never knew i had to "do" stuff to make you love me more. for even though you keep hurting me, i still keep running back to you, forgiving you at the simple "I'm sorry" you give to me. every day of my life that i'm with you, i just love you more. nothing you did ever made me love you less. every single thing i've done in my consciousness, was so that you could be happy being with me.
you appreciate how i've been the best companion to you ever. your family loves me, and so do your close friends. that's what makes you keep me, because of how they feel. but how do you feel? you say you love me, and that's why you try to keep our relationship strong. if you really were trying, i'd see you fighting the whole "need to be single and dump my girl for awhile" phase that you're going through right now. i see you succumbing to it instead.
my heart is breaking, but you say that it's you we need to focus on now, so that you won't leave me. (do i see a threat coming?) i want to cry, and the tears spilling over my eyes are proving it. but you need to walk away, you say. and because i love you and i don't want to lose you, here i go letting you have your way again, so that you will come back to me. even though i feel like i want to die as i see your departing figure fading away ahead of me.
you don't know that i want to die when you walk away from me.
irony is, i'd continue to live to see you come back to me with a smile on your face, as though nothing had happened.
you always come back to me like nothing has ever happened. do you ever realise that i wish we could solve our problems for once and for all? so you'll never have to walk away from me again?
you live like there'll always be a tomorrow, and you can always be with me later on.
but i live knowing that our time together gets shorter by each day, and that's why i miss you every single day.
but how i feel, you'll never understand. | | |
| i swear, i cant take her anymore. yah, good friend and all. but i just realised one thing about the pattern of girls from this particular school. they act like everyone else is below them, like they actually have ALL the experience to know what's right and wrong, and they criticise us if we actually make a mistake. she's not even listening to a thing i'm saying. i'm telling the truth when i said a certain someone has been harrassing me into having a fling with him. and he's been telling her that i'm nothing to him. and guess who she believes? clue: not me.
so here she goes, "sueann, why don't you just don't bother?? he doesn't even care anymore! i keep asking him and he says it's nothing!!" DUH, obviously he'll say that it's nothing to YOU. and so much for a friend that you believe his words. you hardly even know him. but well, that's alright, because i'll just fend him off MYSELF if i have to. your help makes no difference to none at all.
i'm really starting to dislike her.
well anyway, i'm bitten by bad luck. or karma. whatever you call it. i just lost my wallet that contained $65, my atm card, my ezlink card, my INDOCHINE CARD -insert the sound of a breaking heart here-, movie tickets of movies shared with Afiq, photographs, some other random cards, my MOS ticket stubs, and coins. if that weren't enough, i missed the damn Mass Comm interview today! because my alarm clock didn't ring. and i woke up 10 minutes before the interview time.
i'm fortunate i don't have my ic yet, or i'd have lost it FOR THE SECOND TIME.
i want to slay the person who took my whole wallet. i mean if he wanted the money, he could just take it and leave my wallet where it was. but my other stuff too?! he's twisted, i tell you.
at least i'm working right now, and i can quickly earn back what i have lost. i guess. sigh.
oh yes and to anyone who hasn't watched Final Destination 3...if you were to enjoy the show, i'll call you a sickhead. the plot doesn't even get anywhere. it's just blood, gore, and gore. i hate to watch movies of people dying with their head not in the right place or something like that. and i tell you, my bad feeling about rollercoasters has been justified. i swear.
damn it, i hate to whine. | | |
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